Do opinions matter to you?

// It's a part of me.

When I joined the British Army, I was 16 years old and living in foster care - I wanted to create a path for myself and I wanted to be someone who didn’t have to answer to anyone else (I know, the irony of that). Except, there was one voice which kept ringing through my ears and it was that of my step-father. He would repeatedly tell me that I was going to fail, I would be home within 6 weeks and that my fitness wasn’t good enough.

The surge of motivation to prove him wrong meant that I served nearly 9 years and his opinion didn’t matter to me.

I also think that since that moment back in 1996, I haven’t really paid attention to anyone else’s opinion around my chosen path(s) and it’s been a journey I’ve taken without much care about what others think but I know that other people tend to be fearful of what may happen and that tends to hold them back.

Let me tell you another little story..

// Instagram.

In 2020, I started to post regular content on my Instagram channel and (inspired by Gary Vee at the time) I was creating just because GV said that I should be posting quantity over quality. I was testing and playing around with different formats and if you scroll down far enough on my Instagram feed, it’s plain to see that my experimentation evolved and the designs at the start were pretty shit.

It didn’t matter to me as I was posting over and over again and I wanted to improve but I had one friend of mine reach out to me and tell me that I should stop, for two reasons.

The first reason was that my content was shit - he said that it looked amateur and that he didn’t know why I was doing it. He also mentioned that his girlfriend at the time was a social media manager and that she could design the stuff that I was doing better than I could and that she uses this ‘new’ tool called Canvas.

Now, for those of you that don’t know - I don’t really like Canva and I don’t like ‘template’ driven content - the type which looks generic enough to pass as content but personalised enough so you know it’s yours. It’s a bit of a middle ground where I think you disappear but, I won’t go down the Canva bashing rabbit hole.

The second reason he told me to stop was that he couldn’t see the point and ‘Where is the money going to come from?’.

Now this is an interesting concept as I hadn’t, at any time, thought about generating money from my content and I was just doing it for the fun.

The person in question thinks he’s an entrepreneur - he ‘owns’ a window cleaning business which pays him cash in hand when he is bothered to do it, he ‘runs’ a tuk tug bar, again, when he can be bothered to do it (and strangely, he’s so successful that I still own the web domain for that particular business as he never registered it).

But his opinions got me thinking - how many other people had he tried to tear down to satisfy his own inadequacies and why do I care what he thinks.

On a final note - the Instagram page I started nudged towards 10k followers in just over a year and towards the end of COVID, began generating a couple of thousand pounds each month as I began creating content for other people.. not bad I think.

// Businesses

Now I’ve set out my stall, I want you to think about your business - what is stopping you from posting content which breaks the mould?

Why are you risk averse when it comes to trying to stand out?

Who are the people who, when you think of that content being posted, begin to recoil and who’s opinion matters to you?

Now, I don’t want you to run off into Leicester Square dressed in a teddy bear outfit throwing peanut butter at people just to garnish views, likes and comments because you shouldn’t have to sell out on your principles to become successful and not every piece of content needs to be a risky play towards controversy but something as simple as allowing your personality to flow through can be seen as potentially risky to some and your view may be that you need to maintain a corporate ‘smile’ at all times.

This is where you need to strike a balance - some content being for show and some content being for ‘dough’.

You need to create content which generates interest in your business (for show) and you need to create some content which educates and informs people (thats the ‘dough’ part).

But that shouldn’t prevent you from posting what you want in a way that is true to you.

// The second attempt.

A rabbit hole which I nearly went down in some of my content was one which chased views and likes.

There was, at one point, a constant need to create content which ‘out-did’ the piece I posted before and all I wanted was to beat my previous metric but again, I wasn’t doing it for me - I was doing it for status.

There is an impact in a sense of the emotional and psychological aspects of chasing views, now, I understand that while they are a necessary metric for content success, it shouldn't have been the sole determinant of my worth or success and I was pushing boundaries that in fact, I didn’t need to push because I was creating a fictional character in my own head which was 'judging’ my content and making a comparison between what I’d done before and what I was producing after.

A lot of us do it - when it comes to posting your first video or doing your first live stream - we all overcome that hurdle and when we realise that the opinions we thought were going to materialise don’t actually materialise, we have to out do our previous efforts.

I know I did.

I don’t think people talk about the second attempt of something as much as they do the first attempt because everyone can do the first attempt with a little nudge in the right direction but it’s the feeling of ‘how do I do better than that?’ which then holds people back from being consistent.

When I first started the newsletter - I have written extensively about the need to actually post for the first time and then having enough ideas for the first few weeks but then afterwards, it gets tricky.

The need to constantly outdo ourselves because of some self imposed belief is another opinion we need to overcome.

// Isolation

Freezing in fear because you’re afraid of a reaction.

Standing on stage in front of an audience and fluffing your lines and going bright red in the face because you feel like you shouldn’t be there - so you just don’t bother doing those things.

I know these feelings - my Instagram page was a surging outlet, I was creating all the time and I took on clients with a secondary revenue stream but I burned out. I took on too much, I focused on creating content for other people and the passion for my own content has dwindled.

And now, I’ve isolated myself from that entire process.

I don’t know why I haven’t begun posting again - it’s a mixture of time/effort and the need to create something unique (something that others won’t judge and say “thats not original anymore”.

It can be challenging because I do actually believe that you should take a break from posting content so you can focus on your art - focus on the how, why and what you’re going to post so that it hits a creative mark for you but you need to tie it down to a rejuvenation and not a sabbatical which never ends.

The isolation of ‘nowhere to be seen’ is crazy because then no-one cares.

// Round Up

I want you to reflect on what I’ve told you - from my days in the British Army to my foray into Instagram/social media and then the ebbs and flows of my business ventures - one common thread emerges: the unwavering determination to carve out my own path despite what others say and internal battles.

When I first joined the Army, I was a young, 16-year-old in foster care, driven by a desire to prove my step-father wrong and to establish my own identity. Little did I know, those early experiences would forge a resilient mindset that would guide me through various stages of my life.

Whether it was enduring and surpassing the expectations of military life or pushing through the noise of social media criticism, I learned to silence the doubts of others and focus on my own goals.

Starting my Instagram journey was another chapter in this ongoing narrative.

I wasn't concerned with immediate success or the polished perfection others might expect. Instead, I embraced the messy, experimental phase, despite the comments from ‘friends’ who couldn't see the value in my efforts. All the comments about my content (and Canva, but lets not bloody go there), only fueled my drive to continue creating in my own authentic way.

The journey on Instagram wasn't just about gaining followers or making money; it was about enjoying the process and finding my voice.

For any business, especially when it comes to content creation, there's always a delicate balance between staying true to yourself and crafting content that resonates with an audience. I get it, you want to be creating engaging content that draws people in and informative content that builds your brand’s credibility and I I’ve realized that maintaining this balance allows you to stand out without losing your essence.

Then there's the challenge of the "second attempt" - the pressure to outdo yourself.

This self-imposed competition can be paralyzing, leading you to freeze in fear of not meeting your own expectations.

It's a trap I've fallen into, and it's one that many of us face. The first attempt is easy to celebrate, but it's the consistency and the willingness to push past the initial high that truly tests our resolve.

Finally, the feeling of isolation can be profound, especially when we push ourselves to the brink. When you burnout from taking on too much client work and when you neglect your own personal creative passions, you lose your way.

It's crucial to find a sustainable rhythm in our creative pursuits, allowing for breaks to rejuvenate without slipping into indefinite hiatus (which is where I’m at)

So, please, remember to forge ahead with your unique vision, balance authenticity with strategy, and embrace the process - even when it’s messy or imperfect.

Your path is yours alone, and the opinions that truly matter are those that align with your inner compass.

Stay resilient, keep creating, and don't let the fear of judgment hold you back from sharing your story with the world