I closed down my company.

// The End of an Era.

I think we all own that one t-shirt or hoodie that we just can't live without - the one with the holes in, that once had food spilt down it but has since been washed and now, it's just a comfort blanket and no matter how many times your partner tells you to throw it away, it's still worn, still washed and still loved.

They're our comfort blankets I suppose - a feeling of something that's comfy, warm and probably has a few memories tied in.

'Companies' are a bit like that I think. But after all this time, I finally did it. I shut down SalesChange.

On paper, that’s just paperwork - a Companies House form but for me it's a line drawn under a chapter. It all felt a little 'clinical' or routine because you need to wait three months before it's officially closed down but in my head, it felt heavier than that.

It felt like closing the door on a younger version of me - it was my first foray into 'owning' something and a part of me never wanted to let go.

For years, I kept it alive even though I wasn’t using it, I got into trouble for not filing the dormant accounts, I built up £1000 fine for three consecutive years of not filing dormant accounts (which, when I realised were appealed and quashed) so then, I filed dormant accounts - filed the confirmation statements every year - updated details, renewed the domain - everything you would do to keep a 'company' alive.

I told myself it wasn’t hurting anyone, that it might come in handy, that it was easier to leave it open than go through the admin of ending it.

But that wasn’t the truth.

The truth is, I was holding onto it for emotional reasons.

// A Ghost.

SalesChange was never just a company to me, it was my first real swing at doing something on my own.

I poured myself into it - I started the Instagram channel just before lockdown and built this thing from scratch - it was never meant to be as big or as official as it became but I built the 'brand', landed clients and tried to shape an idea into something that could stand up in the world.

The Instagram channel grew but always felt limiting because it wasn't me - it was a company page so, I changed that and pivoted to a personal brand but just because I posted, I landed clients - through Saleschange, I never chased a single client - they all came to me.

It kept me sane during the COVID lockdowns and meant I had something to learn, something to focus on - Photoshop and learning how to use the Adobe suite became my outlet as I built graphic designs from scratch - then the enquiries came in..

Saleschange was my first company and like any first attempt, it taught me more than I knew at the time. Some of those lessons were exciting - moments where I thought, yes, this is what I’m meant to be doing. Others were brutal - missteps that knocked the wind out of me.

But together, they made me happy and I was so excited to have 'something'.

I think that’s why I couldn’t let it go, even when it stopped serving a practical purpose, it was still serving an emotional one. I mean, last year, I started a new company and thats sold and worked with more people than Saleschange ever did - it was just becoming heavy.

Every year I kept it alive felt like a way of honouring the person who started it.

But the reality? It had become a ghost that still needed feeding. A reminder of something I wasn’t anymore, but couldn’t quite bury.

// The Nostalgia

We all do this, don’t we?

We hang onto things not because we need them, but because they remind us of who we were. Old clothes, old relationships, old business names. It’s not about function - it’s about identity. When we feel like we 'own' something, it's like the trinket or old sea shell that lives in your kitchen somewhere - they serve a purpose by being a memory.

For me, SalesChange became a kind of nostalgia trap. I convinced myself that keeping it alive kept the story alive. That if I shut it down, I’d lose a piece of myself and the branded merch which now sits in the bottom drawer of a chest of drawers would have one day resurfaced and made an appearance again.

I'm down to my last t-shirt, wooly hat, baseball cap and sweatshirt now - the brand which was once always worn by me is now gathering dust in the bottom of a drawer and it's honestly not been worn for over 18 months.

The podcast which also took it's name (SalesChange - The Podcast) - LINK HERE - is still live on podcast platforms (I'm still subscribed to it) but the last episode of that was released 5 years ago! The last episode was Jules White and I remember thinking when the final one was released that I'd come back to it one day... never did.

The podcast was fun, the Instagram was fun - damn, even the misguided client work was fun in it's day - it brought me a little bit of spare cash every single month and topped up our gin and tonic fund during Covid.

But I have to keep reminding myself - the story isn’t in the paperwork, it isn’t in the Companies House database or in a domain name quietly gathering dust.

The story is in me. It always was.

// Letting Go.

It was actually Jon Jenkins who prompted me to close Saleschange.

We worked together on some podcasts, editing and then he helped me out with some accounts on my current business - Let Them Create and he mentioned that it costs £1 more to close a company than file to keep it alive every year.

The decision was made - I was spending money, every single year, to keep a company alive - it was costing me time and money (and every time I failed to file my accounts, the risk was always there!)

Closing it was frustrating - the admin, the forms, the feeling of “why didn’t I just do this earlier?” - but the strange thing is, once it was done, I felt lighter and I was actually looking forward to the notice dropping through my door that it was done - closed, finished and totally 'off the books'.

When I filed (online) - it was like I’d finally stopped carrying around a box of old files I never opened and whilst I still own the domains (again, gotta pay for those each year too) and I own the Instagram handle - it was like I’d made peace with the fact that not every chapter has to remain in print and you can close things down without the worry of doing something wrong.

Yes, there’s sadness but there’s also relief - relief in knowing that I don’t have to keep tripping over something that belongs in the past.

It makes me wonder how much energy I’ve been wasting holding on.

// The Invitation

I think we all have our own version of SalesChange - something we keep alive long past its purpose.

It might be a side project you haven’t touched in years but still pay the hosting fees for (I currently own 8 web domains I've never done anything with)

It might be the drawer full of branded pens from a business that doesn’t exist anymore, because that's the first thing you buy when you set up a company.

It might be a relationship, a habit, even a dream you once had that no longer fits who you are now.

We keep them because they’re comforting and because they remind us of a time when we were braver, or freer, or just figuring things out and there's a part of us that feels like letting go is dishonouring that part of ourselves.

But maybe letting go is the opposite. Maybe it’s the most respectful thing we can do because it says "thank you for getting me here, but I don’t need you to carry me further."

Shutting SalesChange wasn’t easy, but it taught me something I didn’t expect - endings aren’t failures, endings are acknowledgements.

They’re how we create space for what comes next and it allows us to free up time, space and energy to move onto bigger and better things.

So here’s the question I’ll leave you with -

What are you still keeping alive out of nostalgia rather than need and what might happen if you finally let it go?