The Problem with Being Always On

// The Schedule

For almost 18 months now, I've been working my absolute nuts off. Not just a little bit, but I've been double (and sometimes triple) stacking my work and for the entirety of 2025, I didn't take a single day off.

Now, I'm not saying that I didn't take a holiday at Yammayap - of course I did but every single day off (with the exception of a couple of days at Christmas - and that's because no-one was working rather than actual sly stopping) I worked.

In February of last year, I won my first client with Let Them Create and flew out to Houston to film with the team at Ramco for a full week, then I had various filming days with clients through the year - I also flew out to Sicily and Italy in June to film for an extended period - of course, the filming is only one part of the story because then you've got the editing.

The editing is equally as long (if not longer) and then you need to do the invoicing, the accounts, the expenses, the outreach - all whilst working a full time job and having kids.

It was FULL ON.

I'm not saying this as a way to tee up the fact that I was 'burning out' because it was far from it - I relished every single opportunity, I don't know many other people who, within their first 5 clients, flew out to both Houston and Sicily to film. It was mega and I was happy to take my holiday as work days and double stack the work coming in.

It gave me freedom to express and do the things I want to do and it was building up Let Them Create at the same time.

// The Problem

Last week, for the first second time in the history of The Clique (which is now nearly 3 years old) I failed to send an email to everyone. I took a week off with the kids for half term and just one person text me on Tuesday morning to say 'Where's my newsletter?'

Now, I don't want you to all shy away from the fact that no-one text or reached out - I clearly forgot to send an email in the first place but I was more concerned with the fact that I just completely forgot. It just never occurred to me that once I switched off for that week, that I needed to send a weekly email.

I love writing this blog/email - it's a part of who I am and I get to explore things which are happening to me in real time and write about them as a way of making sense of them in my head whilst also keeping my creative juices flowing.

The blog is an outlet for me and for one week last week - I failed to do it.

I have titled this section 'The Problem' and it's a bit misleading because I think the problem was that I was actually doing too much - without realising it. I have been playing the game, burning the candle at both ends and focusing on moving everything so much that I have failed to switch off for over a year.

Something had to give and I think I just completely switched off last week - the work laptop was never opened, the website I was building for Let Them Create through Claude was just binned off (I got bored) and I spent the week with the kids, walking around and for the first time this year, the PS5 got a run out.

I switched off for the first time.

It felt great.

// Switching Off

My brain seems to be a constant push to grow, to make more money and to find the next idea - that's what I've been doing for as long as I can remember and for the most part, I enjoy it - it makes me happy to be constantly pushing and getting to the next level.

But what if it's not everything it's cracked up to be?

This past week has taught me one thing - that it's all here ready and waiting to be picked back up again when you stop for a moment. Just because I stopped, I didn't get a huge swathe of 'unsubscribes' and no-one really cared that I didn't write for a week (well, Mark did but he's a great supporter).

I like always being 'on' and focusing on work but for the first time in a long time this week, I didn't really do any work - I just 'stopped'.

It wasn't a conscious choice either - I didn't think that I'd just stop for the week and not do anything, far from it - I thought I'd finish off my website, get some case studies written and edit a few videos but when the Easter weekend rolled around, I just stopped and I didn't start again. Maybe it's because we now have Autumn and a lot of my time is spent with her and Tina but I just didn't have the appetite to start up again. When this Monday rolled around, I struggled with the notion of getting back to 'work'.

I was looking forward to writing again this week - I nearly forgot again (despite my last article being about the non-negotiable of writing this blog) - but when I realised I get to share my email, my thoughts and start back up again - it felt right.

I know others who do switch off and have time off over summer and I do stop sending these emails over the festive period but I've never really seen the attraction of it.

I’ve never really seen the attraction of switching off - not properly.

I think I’ve told myself a story that the momentum matters too much and that if I ease off, even slightly, something I’ve built will quietly start to unravel without me noticing, so I feel like I have to stay close to it just to keep it moving.

// The Realisation

But last week didn’t behave how I expected it to because I stepped away - properly for the first time in forever (now I can hear that song from Frozen), unintentionally - and nothing fell apart.

As I said, the work stayed where it was but most importantly, the ideas didn’t disappear and even this… came back when I did.

It’s strange, realising that the thing you’ve been holding so tightly doesn’t actually need that kind of grip because I I think I’ve been mistaking presence for pressure, like I need to be constantly applying it for anything to grow.

But maybe some of it grows because you step back. Maybe? I don't know yet.

It could be because there’s space for it to breathe and for you to breathe. I also don’t think this is about suddenly becoming someone who switches off perfectly because that’s not me but it felt good for a little while and I can feel a slight change in how I’m holding it all together now - a little less stressed about it all - I don't know, looser, maybe?

Less like I’m trying to keep everything spinning, and more like I trust it to keep turning without me forcing it.

And that feels… different.

So I’m curious to see what happens next?