The Thing about Consistency

// The Boring Bit

I'm sure every athlete and every marathon runner you've ever admired has felt the same way as I do right now because I'm struggling with it - no one really tells you how boring 'consistency' is.

It’s sold as this heroic trait, the cornerstone of success and it's touted as the thing that separates the “serious” people from those just doing it for a laugh. I do believe that's the case but what people fail to mention is how utterly dull it feels.

I don’t mean the start - that’s easy - you're starting and at the start you’re high on the novelty, buzzing with energy and you're constantly telling yourself you’ve cracked it this time - it's just noise.

I don't think that I mean the finish either - the highlight reels, the wins, the little jolts of excitement that remind you it was all worth it.

I mean the middle.

The bland, beige, nothingness of showing up again, and again, and again.

It's f*cking boring.

The middle is making something when you don’t want to. Posting when it feels like no one’s listening. Running when it’s raining. Jumping in that god foresaken ice bath again..

It’s not inspiring, It’s not cinematic, It’s not the kind of thing you can put on a mug but you can only get to the excitement by going through the really boring bit.

// The Ice Bath

Today, I'm on Day 238 of a 365 day challenge to get into the sea or my ice bath every single day for a full year. I'm also up to 104 editions of my weekly newsletter 'The Clique' so you'd think that being consistent was easy for me?

But those are just two things - out of almost a million things that I want to be good at, I've recently started journalling properly - I started at the start of August and I've remained consistent with it but I'm just starting out and seeing those fresh lines ready to fill out, it's exciting and enjoyable (as everything always is at the start)..

I've started running (again) - 3 times last week I hit the road but then wham... I haven't run for nearly 5 days - I'm really good at being consistently inconsistent.

But the ice bath is the thing that's getting in my head at the moment (and I suppose, a little bit of this writing malarky) because it's so damn boring.

I've tried countless things to try and 'spice' it up - different camera angles, different ways of 'appearing' on camera - all to change the monotony of doing the actual thing - the thing which I'm there to do.

It feels like I'm just going through the motions and just 'getting in' an ice bath every day, which... I am but I want the excitement to be there.

The thing with the ice bath challenge is that there is an end to it - on December 31st of this year, I'll do the final dip - the one where I can finally say 'I did it' - but with the newsletter, with running and with journalling - there is no end.

// The Lust for Excitement

I think instead of constant boredom of a particular task, I'm trying my damn best to make things exciting but I don't know why.

The writing gives me a creative output which isn't ever going to be felt after one writing session, it has to keep going to compound over time. The journalling (I hope) - won't make me suddenly remember more things overnight but the consistent detailing of my thoughts and my memories will build up a pattern over time and make me feel better.

All of the things I'm trying to do I suppose, (very, very similar to brushing your teeth but I promised myself I wouldn't use that analogy in this piece of writing - damn) I'm doing for the greater good - the slow, monotonous grind of being better.

But why can't I enjoy it?

Why can't I just sit there and let the middle bit entertain me as much as I want it to? I don't get the sense that it's fulfilling me.. does that make sense?

// The Middle Lies

Maybe the problem is that I keep expecting the middle to give me something back - like a little kid giving me a toffee, all very pleasant but you do't want to take the sweet away.

I feel like if I put in the reps, the middle will suddenly reward me with a spark, a rush or a sense of progress that feels tangible - But the middle doesn’t care, the middle is a liar - it disguising growth as nothingness.

You'll won’t see the strength building, you won’t see the stamina stacking (those runs are a pain in the ass) and you don’t see the words slowly shaping you into a better writer.

All I see is another cold plunge, another blank page (and lets not forget another run that feels like the last one - a struggle)

I think that the middle bit plays mind games and it tricks you into believing it’s not working.

I know it is. Quietly. Underneath it all.

It is working - which is why I hate it.

// The Quiet Payoff

When I zoom out — really zoom out — I can see the threads.

I can see how the newsletter has built not just an archive, but a voice. I can see how running, even with the gaps, makes me feel more alive when I’m actually out there. I can see how journalling, even in its early stumbles, is teaching me to notice.

The payoff doesn’t shout. It whispers.

And I think that’s why the boring middle feels so unbearable — because the rewards are on delay. They don’t arrive gift-wrapped after every action. They sneak up on you months later when you realise you’ve changed without noticing.

Maybe the trick isn’t to fight the boredom.
Maybe it’s to learn to trust it.

So I’m left wondering — what’s quietly growing in your middle, even if you can’t see it yet?